Hobbies & The Military Spouse
Hobbies for the military spouse are so important. It can be a form of self-care, a way to refocus energy, and a creative outlet for emotional expression. It can...
Life as a military spouse is a unique journey filled with challenges, resilience, and moments of pride. While military life is rewarding, it can also be difficult for those outside the community to fully understand what it's like. Here are 10 things military spouses wish civilians could understand about military life.
Constant relocation is hard, but they make it work
Frequent moves are part of military life, but that doesn't make them any easier. Packing up their lives every few years, settling into new communities, and constantly saying goodbye to friends can be exhausting. Military spouses learn to adapt, but the process always comes with emotional challenges.
Deployments are lonely, but military spouses are strong
When their partners deploy, military spouses shoulder the weight of everyday life alone. From managing the household to taking care of the kids, they do it all while worrying about our spouse’s safety. We get through it, but the loneliness can be overwhelming at times. This is why I took up my no needles knitting hobby, to keep me busy in the evenings and the times when I was lonely.
Plans often change at the last minute
One of the hardest things about military life is the unpredictability. Orders change, deployments get extended, and plans get cancelled with little to no notice. Military spouses have to be flexible, but that doesn’t mean it’s not frustrating. Other people don't seem to understand that plans can, and do change, and that leads onto more frustration.
They don't always have the support they need
While military families are often surrounded by a tight-knit community, it’s not always the case. Depending on where they are stationed, military spouses may not have the support system they need. Isolation and loneliness are real struggles for many military spouses. Living married unaccompanied is tough. It can feel like you are out of sight, out of mind from the main camp.
Homecomings are beautiful, but they are not always easy
The moment when loved ones return from deployment is beautiful, but reintegration can be tough. Adjusting back to normal life after time apart takes patience, understanding, and effort from both sides. It's not always the fairy-tale moment it seems to be.
Family is not always on the door step
Many military families live far from their hometowns and extended families. This means they often miss out on family gatherings, birthdays, and holidays. It can be hard to feel disconnected from loved ones, especially during special occasions.
Military spouses carry a lot of emotional load
Military spouses carry a lot of emotional weight — not just for their families but for their deployed loved ones too. They are constantly balancing worry, stress, and the responsibility of keeping things running smoothly at home.
Military spouses are used to starting over
New duty stations mean new homes, new schools for the kids, and new friends. They are constantly in a cycle of starting over, and while it builds resilience, it also requires a lot of emotional energy. Making each new place feel like home is a challenge they face regularly.
"You knew what you were getting in to" isn't helpful
While military spouses understood the challenges of military life when they married into it, that doesn’t make the hard times any easier. Knowing something in theory and living through deployments, constant moves, and prolonged separations are two very different experiences. I didn't really know what I was "getting in to". I didn't know how I would react to a 7 month deployment, or living away from the camp. You cannot know what it is really like until you have lived it.
Military life is not for the faint hearted
Living as a military spouse takes resilience, patience, and a lot of emotional strength. While they adapt, it’s not always easy managing the unpredictability and challenges of military life. It’s rewarding, but it’s definitely not for the faint-hearted.
Conclusion
Military life is full of ups and downs, and while it’s a life that has been chosen, it’s not without its hardships. These military spouses embrace the strength, resilience, and community that comes with being part of the military world, but they also hope for a little more understanding from those outside of it. If there’s one takeaway, it’s this: even the smallest acts of empathy and support can make a big difference.
